An honest confession, I have this habit of gifting people around. I don’t know why? Actually this runs in the family and I have this weird habit of buying gifts for people I like which could be friends, family or even an acquaintance! I fail to understand is this a good habit or a bad one. Can it really build healthy relationships, if at all?
It could be a special occasion like a birthday, an anniversary or just like that I may have gone shopping and have liked something for somebody. Now I just want whoever is this reading to tell me that this is a good habit or is it really a bad one? The reason I am asking you all this is because more than often I find my relatives and friends telling me “Oh, so nice of you and thanks for this one.” I don’t know, may it helps me maintain relationships like this probably.
So far so good, but the real problem starts when I see them putting up an act of innocence and saying “But dear I really can’t afford to give you such expensive!” My question is did I even ask for that? Why act defensive when there is no need. I am sure that you all may have come across such people in your lives as well. So I just want to understand where I stand. Should I try and restrain myself to get rid of this habit of mine or should I simply go on gifting people the way I like treating them as they make me feel comfortable?
Whether it is a birthday gift or an anniversary gift, my point is I like them, which is why I am doing the least that I can in my humble ways. I am trying to show it to them that I may not call on them every day but I certainly remember them and buying presents for them is a sweet of expressing that.
I don’t want you to tell me “I wish I could buy something like that the day I have money.” What I understand from this is either you should not buy me such presents anymore, which is not possible as everyone likes surprises. The second point of view is yeah “I like your gifts, don’t stop, but certainly don’t expect me to return you same the favor.” Either ways make it clear and tell me that you don’t want it from me. No I guess, these are people who will not as they like the presents but feel inferior when I give away things for free with no expectations from them. I guess this could be it, or else why would people say that “I can’t return you the favor!” It kills my spirit and at times I feel suffocated that I have emotionally invested in the wrong person for sure.
Look either you reciprocate the same or you don’t. Frankly I don’t want it from you, so why bother? I like it so I am buying you presents, I do not want you to do the same. Simple! As an adult and especially for people who are older to me, I expect that they will guide me about this because I want that trust in a relationship. No, instead of this they tell me (especially referring to a set of people given to me by the law of my land) that “I can’t afford this and that.” The worst line “I will someday.” My suggestion is don’t, please. I am not greedy, I am doing this because I like it and do not want to you to return me the favor. Save it for someone worth in your eyes. I would prefer if you could give me a sign that tells me “STOP” and “NO MORE” which never happens in reality. Okay you can stop accepting it, if you can’t afford it. Then please tell me that you don’t want anything from me loud and clear. Come on don’t be a hypocrite!
Do I deserve this? I don’t know you tell me. Gifts are a way to express your love and like for someone. I believe that by gifting I am showing them that I care for them and their contributions in my life. What I deduce from this is that I probably am choosing the wrong contributors!